The ability to feel confident, especially in a world that is so dependent on social media and appearance, can be very difficult.  Building your confidence can benefit you in many areas of your life—the better you feel, the more you’re willing to say yes to new activities or challenges, and the less likely you are to fall into vices for comfort. There are a few simple steps you can take to increase your confidence, here’s how:

 

 

  • Challenge your unhealthy thinking
    • We all have an internal dialogue running in our heads all day. Yet we are mostly unaware of what we’re saying to ourselves. As humans, we have become too comfortable with negative self-talk. 
    • For example: You are headed to an important work meeting and you forget the paperwork you needed to bring – you immediately say to yourself: “Gosh, I am so stupid.” This remark is actually negatively impacting our physical selves – our brains! 
      • Every time you say something negative about yourself, it strengthens the neural pathway between your concept of “stupid” and your concept of “self.” In order to break this cycle, we have to consciously create a new pathway between our concepts of self. An example of something more meaningful to say to ourselves regarding the example above could be: “Wow, I must have been really stressed to have forgotten that paperwork.” With this, we are not putting ourselves down and are working more towards a positive view of a stressful situation. 
      • Additionally, we can also challenge our unhealthy thinking through making it a point to especially challenge black-and-white thinking. For example, telling ourselves, “I never do this,” is an untrue statement and it assumes that we only think in terms of extremes. As well as this, we can work to reframe global statements into local statements. For example, reframing, “I’m forgetful” into “I forgot this one thing this day,” reinforces the idea that forgetfulness is situational – not a negative aspect of ourselves. 

 

  • Find Internal Validation
    • It can be noted that using others for external validation is alright in the short term, but it’s not sustainable for your confidence or self-esteem in the long run. Our brains are wired to see the bad first, so it takes conscious action to notice the positive.
    • Here are some tips to increase your internal validation:
      • Hyping yourself up or “faking it ‘til you make it” can help our brains remain calm and increase our success.
      • Reflect on your achievements at the end of each day.
      • Begin your day with some gratitude! Write down or simply just think about some successes you have attained or things you enjoy about your life and yourself.
      • After receiving feedback, write down a positive comment you heard that was directed to you.
      • Have a go-to place for yourself when you are feeling low. For example, create a small shrine of things you enjoy about your life/yourself. This will act as a reminder of all  you have put forth in your life. 

 

  • Build on Your Success
    • Many times in life we become flustered and forget to utilize our strengths. Discover an area of your life you feel confident in to help you solve other problems. 
    • As well as this, there are other ways to build upon our success:
      • Mentor others who need some help in an area you are good at. 
      • Ask others what they think your strengths are.
      • Identify your own values and connect them to your daily activities.
      • Connect tasks in your life to your own passions.